Not Really a Food...

Ok, I have a bone to pick...

...with SPAM.

I know this an economic recession, BUT I do not think we are at the point of eating mystery meat.  

Think I'm being too harsh calling this other-formed hot dog a mystery meat?  I'm NOT.  SPAM, for those who aren't familiar with the unnatural object, was  introduced to the market in 1937.  At first it was called "Hormel Spiced Ham" but that didn't help it fly off the shelves.  Really?  Why not?  I mean, spiced and canned meat sounds like the BEST thing since sliced bread! NOT.  Then, it was renamed in a contest to SPAM, rumored to be a combination of 'shoulder of pork and ham.'  However, other interpretations are more up my alley: 'Skunk, Possum, and Mouse,' 'Spare Parts Animal Meat,' or 'Something Posing as Meat.'  

Notice: There are no animals with a part called SPAM.  A Chicken breast is actually from a chicken's breast.  See the difference?

So, if it's not an actual food... why eat it?  It must be SUPER healthy, right? WRONG.  Two ounces of SPAM has over 170 calories and 1/3 of your daily recommended sodium intake.  Almost 4% of SPAM's mass is SALT.  It is said to be high in saturated fat and offers almost no vitamins.  Normal? NO.

To top it off, there are 13 varieties of this "food" - one being "Turkey Flavored."  Turkey flavored spiced meat???

Notice the CAN.

Though this 'thing' is sold in over 41 countries world-wide, it has one of the highest fan bases in the United States... God help us.  Hawaii, tied with Guam, consumes the most SPAM per capita of all the places.  This is where I come in.

I don't normally rant and rave about something that has little or nothing to do with me (in writing at least).  

However, this year I live in what is sadly NOT a SPAM free zone.  Did you know that this 'food' is served for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack time?  IT IS at my house.  In fact, I came home to my white board reading "WE LOVE SPAM" with pictures of the rectangle 'meat.'  I quickly crossed out 'WE' and changed it to the two people's names in my house that consume this monstrosity.  I then signed onto facebook to see my name tagged to a picture of a breakfast of spam and eggs.  (I almost lost my own breakfast over this.)

My friends are from Hawaii, where Spam is referred to as "Hawaiian Steak" (wrong animal people) and they celebrate the 'food' at the SPAM Jam in Waikiki.   

So now, my house occasionally smells like canned Hot Dog and I have to worry about my friends consuming inordinate amounts of mystery meat like it's a delicacy.  (Did you know the human body can only FULLY digest one whole hot dog a year? Imagine a whole can of SPAM.)

   

Oh how I hate the 'food' that claims to make ordinary meals extraordinary.