People in the World...

If you were to compile a list of 'types of people' in the world, what categories would you use?  

Maybe politicians, mothers, children, etc.  Those seem logical, right?  We are conditioned to think about life through certain eyes and in a certain shape.  

Would your list use words like RAPEY, POODLES, DOILY, METHUSELAH, PIGEONS, SAUSAGE, SASQUATCH,WIZARDS, GIANT SAND WORMS or HIPTARD?

If not, you're not funny enough to describe the inhabitants of planet earth.  

Luckily, Lindy West has a complete list to offer us describing fine people like these:

Read it HERE.  From THE STRANGER - a quirky newspaper.  

I bet you never knew that there was a definition of people who are afraid of clowns.  I agree with everything in her list except this one.  I am VERY afraid of clowns and it's not just a 'cute quirk' that I've chosen to develop.  I am more afraid of clowns than anything on the list EXCEPT colon cancer and rapists.  I love the word RAPEY... I never knew it existed before; but, it completely describes people at Seven11.

If your too cynical or cannot read the ground from your stupid high horse, at least read about these people:

• People Who Secretly Have Vast Family Fortunes/Trust Funds to Keep Them from Ever Knowing Complete Destitution, or Even Mild Hardship
  
• People Who Claim to Be Afraid of Clowns
• People Who Are into Whimsy
  
• Old People Who Think Pigeons Are Their Best Friends
  
• Babies
  
• People Who Don't Believe in Evolution but Love Antibiotics
  
• People Who Let Their Cat Walk Across Their Kitchen Cutting-Board, Even Though Those Are the Same Fucking Paws That Have Been Tramping Around That Shit-Filled Cat Box and I Don't See a Kitty Foot-Washing Station Around Here, Do You?
  
• People Who Sit at Their Day Jobs All Day Anonymously Posting the Meanest Things They Can Think of in the Comments Sections on Blogs (ABOUT THE AUTHOR)

It's your civic duty to understand humanity.  

Don't date hoboes.  Don't fire yourself on Live Journal (better yet, don't have a LiveJournal EVER you hiptard).  Don't feed pigeons - i hate bird poop.  Don't drink too much, actually DO. Drunk boring people are BETTER than boring people.     

Ads of the Day: TRIMMING (razors)

Someone over at Schick Quattro has a sense of humor.  Or at least some sensibility.  They have managed to create an ad for a uniquely feminine product that is fun to watch, unlike ads that leave you with skin crawling and your boyfriend sitting two feet farther away than when it started.  

(Schick Quattro is a razor with a "trimming" end.) 

Here is the ad that previously ran in the UK:

This image is what really tells you ABOUT the product.

Then, it was brought to America where things need to be even more ambiguous.  It may not have the silly jingle, but I think this ad does a marvelous job of leaving you comfortable and actually informed about the product (rather than running for the door).  

I knew what this ad was for right away on TV because of the mental 

association I made between 'bushes' and 'bushes.' Clever Schick.

So, "trim the lawn" or do whatever fancy thing the 

American ad suggested.

Firsts

Ever since the world didn't crash in Y2K, we have been experiencing a world of FIRSTS.  Most of these are inventions, disasters and scandals.  But the most significant, today at least, is a person.  No, not Barack Obama.  Rather, it is the FIRST lady: 

Michelle Obama! 

She is the 'first lady,' the first colored women in the white house, the first to embrace the position the way she has and made the impact she has in the first 100 days.

Upon reading an article on CNN.com (here), I discovered the global impact that Michelle is having on women all over the world.

Her status as a hard-working woman is being seen as globally inspiring.  The article notes, "I've always liked knowing that she was Barack Obama's supervisor when they first met," Sue Mbaya of Nairobi, Kenya says. "He once said that he wouldn't be where he is without his wife. That really appeals to me."

Michelle always two steps ahead.  

She is globally inspiring to those who feel they are 'aliens' in society.    

She is inspiring to many as a woman of color.  "She shows women that it's OK to have dark skin and to not have a son. She's quite real to us," says one in India.  

In the States, the old woman to look up to was Oprah, but even she has fallen under Michelle's charismatic spell.  Michelle is the Mother Teresa Oprah combo.  

Michelle has even become an example of healthy living: in beauty (She was recently on the cover of VOGUE), healthy eating (She had a garden planted at the White House) and family (She showcases her girls and embraces motherhood, as opposed to the behavior of Hillary Clinton).

"She might be the first woman of color that females in male-dominated countries have seen as confident, bright, educated, articulate and persuasive," says Barbara Perry, author of "Jacqueline Kennedy: First Lady of the New Frontier."

Speaking of Jackie O, Michelle Obama is the new HOT.  Her style (confident, athletic and sexy) is coveted by Americans for its realistic appeal.  She is the first HOT first lady (in a while at least).   

With motherhood being a uniquely female capability, Michelle is empowering woman by embracing her biological role.  

Her greatest appeal is that she is the first, inspiring REAL first lady that many wish to know.

"This is someone who appeals across the usual divides," Reverby says. "She is a celebrity you can imagine being, not a celebrity you have to watch from afar."  

Ad of the Day

If you've been keeping up with me, you know that I love when advertisers are able to take the drab and make it fab.  Advertising is no easy task... much strategy and planning goes into multimillion dollar work.  So, in a world where more money than our government has right now is pouring into shiny layouts and Times Square billboards, there is no room to be boring or take the easy way out.

Today, I LOVE the ad created for levis paint.  In a world of Home Depot's and Lowes, why would we pay any attention to a BRAND of paint.  Don't you just go into the mega home store and choose a tiny square of some pretty color and tape it to your wall for a few days to make sure you like it?  Apparently, the paint companies want us to pay attention to not just the color but the brand too.    

So, how is PAINT different?  Well, it's essentially the same to the average consumer but differs in color families.  Now, according to levis, paint has a personality.  It is edgy, with the times, fashionable and chic.  Want your room to embody these characteristics?  Choose levis.  

"Fashion for Walls"

Ingenious if you ask me.  

Ads like this inspire me to do my mindless homework for made up clients.  Advertising doesn't require a good product.  It requires great execution.  

InspiratioNation

Want to get chills?  Want to feel like a little kid on Christmas morning again?  Want to smile the same way you do with the ocean hits your toes at the start of summer?  Want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside the same way you do when you sip hot cocoa after a cold day in the snow?

WATCH THIS. 

The 47 year old Susan Boyle rocked the world when she sang on Britian's Got Talent this week.  The sensation was giggled at by the audience as she described her unemployed lifestyle in a Scottish village.  Then, when she tore the roof off with "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, those snickering faces turned to cheering, tearing ones.

   THIS was my favorite moment of the performance:

Have you ever seen this man smile (in an non malicious way)?  He looks like an excited child.

So, Susan Boyle is now my new HERO.  This woman is 47 and still chasing her dreams.  I will be more than surprised if she's not a SUPER STAR in no time.  She is proof that you can do anything you put your mind to.  All those little kids that want to be the President, a firefighter or a ballerina could be.  I can be ANYTHING... how reassuring.     

Caption Contest

The NewYorker provides us with intriguing stories, humor and news in the form of a time-trusted magazine.  While the magazine definitely attracts a type of reader, it can be fun for all.  

Every issue, the NewYorker introduces one of their famous cartoons without a caption and calls the reader to fill in the blanks.  A little bit of the old a picture's worth a thousand words if you will.     

This week's contest looks like this: 

That's my caption above.  You can enter without selling your soul and subscribing too.  Try it here.  Who doesn't like to think they are more clever than all the other readers? And, if you win, you're published in the next issue!   

-blognation-

I am not a big fan of twitter; I just use it to catch up on celeb-produced celeb gossip. 

(Yes, John Mayer, Ashlee Simpson, Demi Moore and more are all on there).  

I think it's absolutely ridiculous how obsessed people become with tweeting, twittering, whatever.  Twitter harbors a world of CONSTANT status updates.  I'm sorry, I don't actually care that you're 'drinking coffee with Bob' or 'walking to the grocery store.'  If you have something you would like to share with me, call me.

Enough of my pompous touting...

Why do I feel the need to cut the twitterers a break?  Because, as I signed onto write in my blog today, I saw this: 

 Yes, "Scheduled OUTRAGE."

Just as videos have been created about all the tweeters out there FREAKING out when twitter overloads and doesn't work for a minute, bloggers have becomes just as obsessed about their blogosphere.  And I am one of them.  

I, of course, clicked 'Learn more' and found this message:

Sadly, we have become a blognation that needs a warning for TEN MINUTES when blogger will not be available.  Ten minutes people.  Take a break.  

I, initially, freaked out thinking that I would not be able to access my blog ALL DAY and then read it was only ten minutes and knew I would survive (I'm sure that's a big deal to some though).

Blogging began in 1994, there were online diaries and public threads before this, and in 1997 it was estimated that over 100 million personal blogs existed.  In 1999, Blogger.com was born and then purchased in 2003 by Google (you know something's good when Google hordes it).      

***Correction: It actually says 'OUTAGE' - clearly i am blogsessed bc I read 'outrage' and thought the system was warning me.  OOPS***

The World is Your Canvas

There is literally no object too boring for an advertiser and no surface that's untouchable to an artist... especially in Melbourne.  

Designer Axel Peemoeller, and team from emerystudio, gained the world's attention with the Eureka Tower Carpark project, in Melbourne.  The 2-D/3-D drawings are illusions that can be read perfectly when standing at the right angle and act as a 'way-finding-system' in the parking garage.

Notice the "Down" picture shows how when standing at the right angle, the word is clear but from a close-side view, the word is distorted.

These designs are said to be inspired by the work of Swiss artist Felice Varini.

Teach for America... Only if it's a Good Fit

Lately, Teach for America has become a lot more than its intended do good program.  It has become a shelter, a money-making scheme and a safety net.  With the economy being what it is, college graduates are seeking to teach within the Unites States for two years, while making a steady income, in order to avoid the current job market.  

Note:  This is one of the most intricately developed, new-way teaching systems in the US.  It serves a wonderful purpose of enlightening America's youth and showing them what they can be if they go to college, and providing students with a greater opportunity for smaller class size and teacher attention in areas that are lacking.

HOWEVER, Teach for America is now attracting college grads who do not necessarily believe in all of this.  They just want to productively avoid the catastrophe that is this market.  Being college grads, they are SMART which is where the problem lies.  A highly intelligent person may be able to master the 4-part interview process and secure a position in the program.  Then, we are left with the classic teacher-without-true-passion problem. 

Teach for America these days is what our parents called the Peace Corps.  It was the safe, productive way to do something admirable and avoid being a real adult - by society's standards.  Now, with the Peace Corps not being so peaceful, students are looking to stay in the country.

Luckily, there are other things to do than be a fake teacher (once again, only if taking the position without true passion).  

Please, if you are one of these fake people, save the position for someone who wanted it before the market sank into a big black hole.

Recently, while using StumbleUpon, I found a website about travel.  After exploring the site that offered to show me how to travel for FREE, I found an article about traveling by BOAT.  I thought, yeah right, that sounds EXPENSIVE.  Then, the author quickly refuted my idea by providing 3 sites that help you pair up with a ship captain where you work some role on the ship and travel the world for FREE.  Within minutes, I was tempted to click to travel to the Bahamas, Portugal and more!  

Remember the wonderful term gap year?  (Where you graduated and traveled and then thought about a job)  Well, why fall victim to society's rule of go-go-go?  Take a "break" and be more productive than you'll ever be working in some soul-sucking cubicle just because you're supposed to.  

Convinced?  Check these sites out:

www.findacrew.net

www.crewseekers.net

www.crewfile.com

That's not the only option either.  Just take a minute, step back and think... where do I want to be in a year?  

Here ?

 Or here?  

Moral, for those of you who aren't keeping up, DON'T LET THE ECONOMY TAKE YOUR SOUL TOO.  DO WHAT YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND THINGS WILL BOUNCE BACK MUCH QUICKER AND MORE PEACEFULLY.  If Teach for America is your passion, then go teach the kids that need you.  But, don't take advantage of the program if you're not meant to.  

Stencil Graffiti Capital of the WORLD

You may not be a fan of the fat, spray painted lettering on the side of the highway or on the door of the bathroom stall, but you should be a fan of Stencil Graffiti that is ART.

Sure, it may be on the side of a building or under a bridge, but it is a form of actual creative expression.  This is much different than tagging, a term often wrongly used as a synonym for graffiti art.

 On the other side of the world, my favorite side, there is a city named Melbourne (rhymes with airborne, NOT mel-bin) on the south east side of Australia.  This city is a sporting mecca, a swirl of small streets with unique eateries and boutiques and a canvas to top stencil graffiti artists in the world.

While there has been laws attempting to outlaw this activity, with a Zero Tolerance Policy, it has become such an iconographic mark on the city that artists refuse to stop and some store owners even sell the sides of their property or hire artists to fill the space.

 As an advertiser/marketer, I see a serious flaw with the local government trying to STOP graffiti.  Every city wants to be marketable so that they can rake in money through tourism.  While Melbourne has more to offer than its colored walls, it wouldn't be the same without them.  

Secret DISCLAIMER: Advertisers don't change brands to fit the customer, they change the customer to fit the brand.  

The city is what it is and naturally evolved into the street art capital of the world for a reason, and the city government shouldn't try to change that fact.  Instead, they should embrace what they have to offer and roll with it. After all, it's working.       

  A book has even been created cataloging some of the best work by world famous artists like Banksy and local talent.

 Last Spring, I had the honor of swerving in and out of small alleys and main streets, Hosier Lane and Centre Place being the most notable, to discover some of the beautiful street art.  While we took a tour to see some of the best stuff, it's unavoidable and no secret if you wish to explore on your own.  The energy in Melbourne is exciting and engaging since you constantly feel connected to its people and subculture.  

The stencil graffiti is nothing but inspiring.

While most people travel to Australia to see the Great Barrier Reef or the Opera House in Sydney, I have never met someone who regrets spending time in Melbourne.  Don't tell anyone in Sydney I said this (the rivalry is INTENSE), but I MUCH rather go back to Melbourne.  Words and pictures do it no justice, it's an insatiable experience.  As Melbournites would say, "Would needs the Harbor Bridge when your city has soul?"

 One street artist justifies his mark saying, "I don't want to live in a city that's really bland and covered in grey and brown and advertising. I never said it was OK to put a billboard on the top of Brunswick Street, so who's to say that I can't put up a small A4 size image in a back laneway?"  

I think he's on to something...

So, street art might not be your thing but don't knock it.  Modern art isn't my thing and I'm not about to go around saying those people aren't artists.  I think Melbourne is what it is and has the heart it does because of its colorful facade.  I hope it stays this way, if not more artistically masked, so I can visit these streets once again.  

Who Doesn't Have a to-do List These Days?

Did your mom ever yell at you for coming home from school with ink on your hands?  (mine did).

Did you ever spend $11 on gel pens at some random gift shop so you could draw on your hands? (I did).

Ever forget everything you needed to get done (because you listened to your mom and didn't write it on your hand) and end up having one of those go-to-school-in-your-underwear dreams because you subconsciously knew you forgot something?  (I have).  

Well, now none of those warnings from your mother about dropping dead from ink poisoning will matter.  Now, you can buy, for $7 instead of $11: 

the TO-DO-TATTOO.  

It comes with 12 tattoo sheets and a skin-safe, washable pen (your mom would be so proud).

So, if you're as forgetful as most, google it and get some ink.  

Ads of the Day: STICKERS

Ads are so intense these days.  Part of the modern art category of advertising is guerilla advertising - anything other than print, tv, radio and online.  With so much to see and do everyday, ads need to STAND OUT.  So... something unusual normally works.  

Check out these STICKER ads used in outdoor media:

(People are Fleas)

(The sticker lines the floor of the elevator to advertise Sky Diving) 

Ad [CAMPAIGN] of the Day

Lately, I have been opening my eyes to the different facets of the advertising world.  We no longer live in a time where you can graduate and work for your dream company and conquer the world in two years.  So, I have been looking into industries other than consumer goods and into health and higher education.  They offer a stimulating challenge.  

How do you make joint pain drugs seem interesting, health care compelling and online college classes appealing? 

Kaplan University has taken the challenge and succeeded in a big way.  In January of 2009, they launched their "Talent" campaign. I say this is extremely successful because A. it's still running during prime-time and B. I watched it and looked it up when I don't even need a college.  That's what I call success... making the consumer THINK they need something. 

Most people think of education commercials as the classic, dry ITT Tech ones with images designed for past decades and unappealing, "uplifting" messages:

Yeah, he looks like a guy I want to go to school with, NOT.

Thank goodness for advertising people who will take any client and shine.  They haven't gotten too snooty and interested in Super Bowl spots and billion dollar contracts.  The Kaplan commercial is definitely inspiring. 

They created a whole campaign around TALENT that encourages people to recognize the new world of learning - where age is just a number, environment is not a definite and knowledge is truly limitless.

Kaplan claims to be a "different school of thought" and proves it through advertising.  

The press release for this reinvigorated educational advertising campaign can be found here.  ( Note: regular people may find this boring.  Ad people should look to see a very well-written strategy turned release.  I am saving this one!)

All of the commercials can be found here.  My favorite is called "Desks" where traditional desks are seen in various settings and Kaplan's recognition of learning without boundaries is narrated.  "Where is it written that the old way is the right way" introduces these astounding images.    

Congrats Kaplan.  You not only increased enrollment, you empowered people seeking higher education and gave advertising schmucks a run for their money.   

Ad of the Day

Some say sex sells; I say KIDS sell.  PC is dominating in ad attention with the kids who "are PCs" and now Mrs. Paul's/Van de Kamp's is using kids as spokespeople to advertise their fish sticks.

The best line in this is "You ever catch a minced fish?"  PRICELESS.  Reminds me of the SPAM issue; ever see a piece of fresh SPAM from an animal?

Cliché but, you are what you eat.

So, don't feed your kids fake food.

Props to whoever hired the little girl who sounds like a 40 year old man in construction.

What's in a Word?

Do you ever find yourself working on something where you have to use the same word multiple times and you start to question its pronunciation or spelling?  Like the word the?  Then you get all theoretical and wonder about the meanings we assign to groups of letters we call words for some reason?  

Well, the brilliant people at the 'Washington Post' knew that people had this tendency and came up with a clever contest that takes advantage of this. They asked people to take a word and alter the spelling slightly to give it a new meaning.  These are a few of my favorite winners:

• intaxication - the act of experiencing euphoria from getting a tax return, which lasts only until you eventually realize it was always YOUR money
• bozone - the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating
• sarchasm - the disconnect between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

Then, they gave common words to people and had them change the meanings.   

• esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk
• coffee - the person upon whom ones coughs 
• wily nilly - impotent
• balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline
• gargoyle - olive oil flavored mouth wash
• testicle - a funny question on an exam 

Have any words of your own? Ones you think that you have better meanings for or words that you think should exist in the dictionary?  Comment and share!

Try meanings for: Sofa, wings, hazelnut and lubricant

Not Really a Food...

Ok, I have a bone to pick...

...with SPAM.

I know this an economic recession, BUT I do not think we are at the point of eating mystery meat.  

Think I'm being too harsh calling this other-formed hot dog a mystery meat?  I'm NOT.  SPAM, for those who aren't familiar with the unnatural object, was  introduced to the market in 1937.  At first it was called "Hormel Spiced Ham" but that didn't help it fly off the shelves.  Really?  Why not?  I mean, spiced and canned meat sounds like the BEST thing since sliced bread! NOT.  Then, it was renamed in a contest to SPAM, rumored to be a combination of 'shoulder of pork and ham.'  However, other interpretations are more up my alley: 'Skunk, Possum, and Mouse,' 'Spare Parts Animal Meat,' or 'Something Posing as Meat.'  

Notice: There are no animals with a part called SPAM.  A Chicken breast is actually from a chicken's breast.  See the difference?

So, if it's not an actual food... why eat it?  It must be SUPER healthy, right? WRONG.  Two ounces of SPAM has over 170 calories and 1/3 of your daily recommended sodium intake.  Almost 4% of SPAM's mass is SALT.  It is said to be high in saturated fat and offers almost no vitamins.  Normal? NO.

To top it off, there are 13 varieties of this "food" - one being "Turkey Flavored."  Turkey flavored spiced meat???

Notice the CAN.

Though this 'thing' is sold in over 41 countries world-wide, it has one of the highest fan bases in the United States... God help us.  Hawaii, tied with Guam, consumes the most SPAM per capita of all the places.  This is where I come in.

I don't normally rant and rave about something that has little or nothing to do with me (in writing at least).  

However, this year I live in what is sadly NOT a SPAM free zone.  Did you know that this 'food' is served for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack time?  IT IS at my house.  In fact, I came home to my white board reading "WE LOVE SPAM" with pictures of the rectangle 'meat.'  I quickly crossed out 'WE' and changed it to the two people's names in my house that consume this monstrosity.  I then signed onto facebook to see my name tagged to a picture of a breakfast of spam and eggs.  (I almost lost my own breakfast over this.)

My friends are from Hawaii, where Spam is referred to as "Hawaiian Steak" (wrong animal people) and they celebrate the 'food' at the SPAM Jam in Waikiki.   

So now, my house occasionally smells like canned Hot Dog and I have to worry about my friends consuming inordinate amounts of mystery meat like it's a delicacy.  (Did you know the human body can only FULLY digest one whole hot dog a year? Imagine a whole can of SPAM.)

   

Oh how I hate the 'food' that claims to make ordinary meals extraordinary.