Inappropriate! (so funny)

Last week I made my tongue in cheek ads for Crystal Head Vodka.  I felt strange using them in my portfolio because I didn't want to offend a potential employer.  Then, I started researching ad agencies internationally (since America is doing such a crap job of hiring right now) and I found out that America is made up of a bunch of sue-happy prudes.  Seriously?  Sex sells, so why can't we blatantly refer to it?  It is one of the most obvious human truths that can be used to sell a product.  Can we really only show Paris Hilton in a swim suit eating a burger or go as far as a girl in a bikini drinking a beer?  That's just pathetic.  

I think we should push Americans to think a little outside of their safe little box?  (Maybe the secret obsession with porn and other inappropriate outlets and bad stigmas would decrease if Americans could say 'sex' without blushing.)

Also, sexual connotations can be hilarious.  Check out this never-to-be-seen-in-USA commercial made in London for Bontust, Inc:

           

 I found it widely inappropriate and shocking too.  But, don't tell me you didn't laugh a little or wish TV here could be that entertaining.  It is brilliantly done and visually pleasing.  And, don't just think that I like it because I am young and naive and trying to be edgy.  Crain Communication's CREATIVITY named this commercial #1 in their list of 'AdCritic's TOP Work" of the week. 

So come on Americans, grow some thicker skin so the creatives don't always have to throw out their ideas and come up with ones that old white people with money approve of.  

Hiptards

After hearing the word hiptard from The Stranger's blog post, I became fascinated with the sub-culture that is all about being obsessed with hipsters.  Seriously, google hipsters and you'll get over 2 million results.  Google "i hate hipsters" and you'll get 600,000.  RIDICULOUS.  

A hipster, according to Urban Dictionary, is "a modern bohemian," "interested in 'artsy things,'" girls with short hair who shop in thrift stores," "kids who listen to underground music," "men who are too skinny and wear girls' jeans," "kids who hang out in coffee shops," "can be described as complicated," "Probably tattooed," "wears the same thing OVER and OVER," "claims to be in a band," "name drops" and "majors in writing, art or queer studies." 

One Urban definition writer sums up my attitude towards hipsters with this: They're quick to call the rest of the world conformists when in reality, they are the ones conforming by partaking in a "too cool for mainstream so i am going to reject it by looking and acting like a grungy asshole" way of life only to seem uber-fashionable. 

Want to laugh at them?  Go to "Look at this F***ing Hipster".  Funny, yet true comments follow images like this:

Good job hipsters.  Basically, you hold yourself up on a pedestal while the rest of us think you're annoying and smell funny.  You are not the Beatniks.  You have yet to make a difference.  You are merely a fashion statement.  

I have an idea, be an individual... not a conformist of the non-conformist culture.  Urban Outfitters is a part of corporate America so stop flashing your 90 dollar faded t-shirt and 30 dollar black manicured nails at us 'mainstreamers' while you block us out with your indie music on too loud out of your corporate apple i-pod.  These things do not make you MORE creative.  It's just sad.

Like I said, hipster is a FASHION.  And although these people are super weird, they did create a statement that looks SO freaking adorable on KIDS.  Seriously, thank you hipsters for your one contribution to life.  These kids look stylish without drowning in GAP and Mary Janes.

    

I think we should make a new rule:  Hipster is only allowed to mean "hip" fashion sense.  Only meant for actually skinny, little kids.  No grown man should share jeans with his little sister.  Let's admit it.  Leggings and sweet shoes look so much better on babies.

So hipsters, I hope you've learned your lesson.  You're a hiptard.  You're a product of corporate, non-corporate America and the only people that like you are the ones just as confused as you.  Get a haircut thats symmetrical, buy some non-faded jeans and call it a day.     

Self Promotion

Ready for more? Well, class... it's time for more show and tell.  

My first assignment this semester in Portfolio Development was to choose a low-interest product and make it relevant in the market.  Make someone think they NEED the item.  Naturally, I googled as-seen-on-tv since I automatically thought of silly products like ShamWOW!  This is when I came across the product that would remain the bane of my existence for the next four months: the Pancake Batter Dispenser.  (I quickly renamed it to the Pancake Perfecter for sales sake).  

The product dispenses pancakes in the same shape and size every time, and makes the same amount: 4 cups.  They are aesthetically perfect (the batter still depends on you and your inner Martha Stewart).  The dispenser makes pouring on the griddle messes disappear.  You'll be able to impress your mother-in-law or the PTA moms.

My original thought was to make the product as normal to a kitchen as a toaster.  However, this is highly unlikely and so I sought to find the human truth within the product to strike a deeper cord for the audience - "moms" (or the more domestic parent).  My thoughts went something like this... the pancakes are perfect.  You'll never know which pancake was made first, no more sacrificial pancake (then, one kid in class said something along the lines of WHO CAREs and I realized he was right).  Then about 7 trees of sketches later, I arrived on the solution:

The Pancake Perfecter offers busy moms a taste of perfection every morning, despite the craziness that is bound to ensue.  

From this insight, my ads were born:

CLOSE UP:

Close UP

Hungry for Pancakes?  Make sure they're perfect!        

Self Promotion

Next up on my list for show-and-tell are ads done for GOURMET COOKBOOK.  

This book is a compilation of 1000+ recipes from last 60 years of Gourmet Magazine.  All of the recipes have been tested to be the best by chefs in Gourmet's test kitchens (pretty extensive research if you ask me).  Recipes range from macaroni n' cheese to a wedding cake.  The book's main competition is The JOY of Cooking - the book that everyone gets for their wedding or with their first home.  But WHY?  WHY are you buying JOY when there is another book with time-tested recipes.  And not just recipes, but TIPS AND TRICKS!  Suddenly, no recipe is impossible.  Gourmet tells you secrets of the kitchen and how to do some kitchen basics.  

This is what I made to sell what I just said:  

Hungry?

Self Promotion

Since I finally got the nerve to post more than my findings and writings, I decided to share a logo I made last year in Computers In COM.  I remembered this ad, which hangs in the hall of my college, when my teacher contacted me this week asking for the rights to use it as an example for future classes.  She also publishes design books so I quickly said YES!  

The assignment was to create a logo for an intramural sports team.  I chose Broomball because I play and because it has such a personality.  It's a rough, on-ice, street sport that involves bruises and adrenaline. 

This is my final product:

And without color:

If I remember correctly, the teacher told me that this wasn't right the week before it was due.  I was in love with it so I didn't make changes (risking my grade but protecting my integrity).  

I got a great grade for staying true to myself.  

Self Promotion

It's the end of the year and all of my work is beginning to find its shiny edges and personality.  I have been in Portfolio Development and we have put together 5 different ad campaigns.  

My hardest assignment was for CRYSTAL HEAD VODKA.  This product is a glass skull filled with supposedly quadruple distilled vodka (through diamonds).  It is sponsored by Dan Ackroyd and is a little hokey.  The skulls are supposed to be reproductions of the 13 crystal skulls that were manufactured millions of years ago.  They are mysterious in that their design is apparently physically impossible.  Legend has it that 7 of these skulls have been found; one rests in the Smithsonian and another in some woman's closet (because it was speaking to her).  The others are yet to be discovered.  Once they unite, they will uncover truths about our existence. Oo0o00. Hear all about it on crystalheadvodka.com.

So, my objective was to raise awareness of this uniquely packaged vodka and direct consumers to the site.  So, by combining the name, the fact that it's legendary and the adage sex sells, I created my campaign.   

The first is a 2-billboard series that reads either alone or as a sentence.  The 'sex sells' portion is only apparent to those who make it so.  (Check out the cool bottles featured in the ads)

Next, I made a Point of Purchase Ad.  For those who purchase the vodka, they take home this 'do-not-disturb- style door hanger:

(Again, only what you make it)

 Let's face it.  This WOULD work in the real world. And it would get a lot more attention than the NON ads that exist now.  

Oh, and don't go try it.  Apparently it doesn't taste good and costs a lot.  Only get it for the awesome container.

Goodbye College

College has come and gone way too fast.  Yesterday, we attended our senior breakfast where my hangover from the end of the year party overtook my desire to indulge in free food.  After sticking around for hockey overload, guilt trip speeches, weirdly textured pancakes, and a terrible grand announcement about the less than exciting graduation speaker - Michael Capuano, we were asked to take a sheet of BU stationary and write a note to an entering freshman.  No instructions, just a plead to keep it clean.  

I took one when my roommate handed it to me.  I wasn't going to participate in this cheesy class activity until I realized that I would have really appreciated some real, genuine advice from someone who was in my shoes when I got to BU.  So, as I sit here gripping every last moment possible from college and not wanting to let go... this is what I came up with:

 

Hi Freshman!

Congrats on getting into BU.  Things are about to change a LOT!.. for the better.  You know how they say 'college is the best four years of your life' and 'you find yourself in college'?  Well, college is an amazing four years but let's not hope it's all downhill after that.  As for finding yourself, it's really true.  You're about to change a LOT.  It might not feel like it but you'll look back and be surprised.  There were days when I hated college - COM Theory, Econ, and Oceanography, made me want to cry, die, scream and explode more times than not.  But for the most part, I was head over heels in love with college... and you will be too.  Whatever you like, you'll find it here.  But that's my main advice to you - FIND IT!  Don't let four years pass only to find out there was a place for you that you never discovered.  You don't know anyone here... try something new (Flip Cup, Broomball, Tap Class).  Play a sport you love on an intramural team.  Make LOTS of friends because when you attend events during senior week you'll wish you had people to talk to.  You're going to meet the people you want at your wedding.  You'll fall in love at least once if you let yourself.  Stay active - getting fat in school only adds to your stress.  You will get stressed.  Get over it!  We all get a lot of work to do.  We all go broke.  Embrace it.  Life's too short to complain.  

Take classes outside your major.  Folk songs is a blast.  Take challenging classes - Lovers & Leaders will change the way you think.  Study Abroad.  This is why college is the BEST four years of your life.  Get an internship.  Take it from someone graduating during a recession... you only have four years till you are homeless.  Make it count.

Explore Boston.  Go to Coolidge Corner.  Walk down Pleasant Street in West Campus.  Go to Harvard Square.  Take the 66 bus form Harvard Ave and Brighton.  (So much faster than the T).  Go running on the esplanade.  Watch the sunrise from BU bridge.  Go with your friends to Revere Beach.  

Stop complaining about the cold - you came to Boston on purpose, remember?  Go to a hockey game.  I hate hockey but there's nothing like BU Hockey fans.  Go to a SOX game.  Celtics game. and Bean Pot.

Celebrate Marathon Monday.  Go to Audubon Circle on Beacon Street.  You'll see why.

Eat at T Anthonys at 1AM on your way home from West.

Go to a toga party at an MIT frat.

Take lots of pictures.

College is amazing.  Having to leave will break your heart.  BU will make you smarter, more confident, make you feel alive... and give you a weaker liver (Boston = Irish).  

Goodluck!  Have Fun!

LOVE,

Your Senior