Hiptards

After hearing the word hiptard from The Stranger's blog post, I became fascinated with the sub-culture that is all about being obsessed with hipsters.  Seriously, google hipsters and you'll get over 2 million results.  Google "i hate hipsters" and you'll get 600,000.  RIDICULOUS.  

A hipster, according to Urban Dictionary, is "a modern bohemian," "interested in 'artsy things,'" girls with short hair who shop in thrift stores," "kids who listen to underground music," "men who are too skinny and wear girls' jeans," "kids who hang out in coffee shops," "can be described as complicated," "Probably tattooed," "wears the same thing OVER and OVER," "claims to be in a band," "name drops" and "majors in writing, art or queer studies." 

One Urban definition writer sums up my attitude towards hipsters with this: They're quick to call the rest of the world conformists when in reality, they are the ones conforming by partaking in a "too cool for mainstream so i am going to reject it by looking and acting like a grungy asshole" way of life only to seem uber-fashionable. 

Want to laugh at them?  Go to "Look at this F***ing Hipster".  Funny, yet true comments follow images like this:

Good job hipsters.  Basically, you hold yourself up on a pedestal while the rest of us think you're annoying and smell funny.  You are not the Beatniks.  You have yet to make a difference.  You are merely a fashion statement.  

I have an idea, be an individual... not a conformist of the non-conformist culture.  Urban Outfitters is a part of corporate America so stop flashing your 90 dollar faded t-shirt and 30 dollar black manicured nails at us 'mainstreamers' while you block us out with your indie music on too loud out of your corporate apple i-pod.  These things do not make you MORE creative.  It's just sad.

Like I said, hipster is a FASHION.  And although these people are super weird, they did create a statement that looks SO freaking adorable on KIDS.  Seriously, thank you hipsters for your one contribution to life.  These kids look stylish without drowning in GAP and Mary Janes.

    

I think we should make a new rule:  Hipster is only allowed to mean "hip" fashion sense.  Only meant for actually skinny, little kids.  No grown man should share jeans with his little sister.  Let's admit it.  Leggings and sweet shoes look so much better on babies.

So hipsters, I hope you've learned your lesson.  You're a hiptard.  You're a product of corporate, non-corporate America and the only people that like you are the ones just as confused as you.  Get a haircut thats symmetrical, buy some non-faded jeans and call it a day.