Tweet Me

Admittedly, I was once a Valentine's Day hater.

More than ambivalent, I often got up on my soap box and fought the anti-consumer love holiday. Why pay for a card for someone to remind them that you love them? If you truly loved them, wouldn't they already know and not need the reminder? Why buy chocolates? Hasn't it been eternally proven that woman crave chocolate every waking (and non-waking) moment? Why buy flowers? Shouldn't a blooming bit of flora compel you to bring some home to your loved one whenever the impulse strikes?

In 2009, it was stated that 70% of couples cohabitate, even before marrriage. That's a whole lotta love going around. So, if Americans are sooo lovey dovey, why the holiday?

See, I obviously have a lot of pent up aggression against the holiday. Mostly, I despise the fact that the holiday makes it "okay" to ignore your love one's need for adoration and spontaneity all year long and lets them get away with it by bringing home a cheesy heart shaped box of truffles and a corny card written by someone in a cubicle rather than written from his/her heart.

Worst of all, the holiday makes girls like me, swallow their words and succumb to typical girl mode and beg her boyfriend to participate in the holiday. Who wants to be alone watching all of the other girls stare at their BFs over candlelight through the window of a fancy restaurant, or wants to watch a chick flick that reminds you of the love you aren't feeling at the moment? Who wants to be left out of anything, ever?

And even sadder, imagine the effects on those who aren't participating by choice. Those without someone to hold onto? Imagine what this soul-sucking, consumer America holiday does in just one day to thousands of human psyches'. That's just plain inhumane.

Until the holiday is officially abolished, we will all participate, in order to prevent the ultimate letdown.

So, if I must participate (since I doubt with all that's going on in the world, I can manage to knock the holiday in a few short weeks), I choose to participate the most modern, non-old fashion way possible.

No, I'm not going to rent a flying car and hang out with the Jetsons...

I will be TWEETING my sweetheart and I encourage you to do the same. Think I'm crazy? Well, the classic sweetheart candy doesn't. They are actually jumping on board with social media and paying attention to the new communication outlet.

This year, the classic chalking candy won't only offer messages like "Love Me" and "You and Me," they will also say "TWEET ME."

Just as this candy has been an American staple for all school children and grown ups alike, they are affirming with sugar, that social media is relevant and broad enough to provide a heart with "tweet me" on it in their V-Day mix.

Another component of this addition, includes an iPhone app that allows participants to send virtual Sweethearts - Tweethearts- with personalized messages that can appear on someone's Twitter page. Fun.

As a huge supporter of social media and the relevancy of twitter, I ask, if you must, continue this money hungry holiday, do it with twitter and sweethearts. And then, Feb 15th, let's start the campaign against Valentine's Day for next year and remember to say I LOVE YOU when the feeling actually strikes (your heart, not the calendar).

Happy New Year... Now Give me Your Wallet

Dear fatties of the world, financially frustrated, semi alcoholics and chain smokers,

It's me, the New Year, and I'm here to collect on your resolutions.

New York Times writer Stuart Elliot wrote, "Every January, Madison Avenue gets into the betterment business, unleashing a flood of advertising that seeks to take advantage of the impulses among consumers at the start of a new year to improve themselves."

January, in my opinion, is the month where you are rewarded for having a bad habit and wanting to change it. It does nothing for those people who prevent that bad habit from controlling them every day of the year. For example, I like staying physically active, so when I was offered a corporate deal for the gym at my new job, I immediately signed up without shopping around for deals. The gym was important to me and so I invested in it. However, if I were lazy and didn't join a gym, yet got the urge to do so in January - when the resolution guilt month rolled around - I could have joined one of the MANY gyms now offering a reduced rate and no joining fee. THAT hardly seems fair. Coupons are abundant for the unmotivated this month.

January is also the month that reminds you that your habit is indeed a BAD habit. For example, have you noticed that nicorette is suddenly more interested in speaking to you? Or how Jenny Craig's spokescelebrities are popping up all over your morning shows? It's not a coincidence.

And finally January is the month that reminds you that your life COULD and SHOULD be better. The Lottery has introduced their "fat wallet" campaign just in time for people to start reevaluating their lives. Bus stop ads call out for people to "Get rich. Get FAT." This message clearly plays into the new year's resolution mentality and draws poor fools into stores to waste $10 on an instant win card with dreams of a brighter tomorrow. Sorry buddy, now your financial problems are even more problematic since you through away an amount equal to a month's worth of dinner or two round trips to and from work on the subway.

I am all for the advertising industry. It's my passion and a necessity in consumer America. However, ads the appeal to the weak-willed new year's resolution makers are borderline cruel. It's like taking candy from a baby or handing drugs to an addict. January should be redesigned by Madison Ave. It should be a month for them to showcase their resolutions... show the world how they aim to make it a truly better place. January should be about CSR and social responsibility, about Probono work.

Just as ridding the world of valentine's day may bring about true love every day of the week, ridding the world of new year's resolution advertisements for pills, gyms, self-help books, etc. may decrease those bad habits. Without a time of the year dedicated to changing your life, any day of the week may be good enough for a change. Imagine the possibilities.